Doctor says to the old man "I'll need
to check your blood, urine, and stool.
The old man who is virtually deaf, turns to his wife and
shouts "WHAT'D HE SAY?".
His wife says "the doctor said he wants to see your
underwear".
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Proctologist to his female patient:
"So tell me, just how did that alimony check get way up
there?"
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(Definition)- Wicker Box: What Elmer Fudd does to his
girlfriend.
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What did Ellen say to Cathy Lee?
Can I be Frank with you?
A police
officer was assigned to stake out the parking lot of a rowdy
bar and watch for possible violations of drunk-driving laws.
Watching from his car, the officer saw a patron stumble out of
the bar, trip on the curb, then try to open the doors of a
dozen cars before finding his own car and collapsing in the
front seat, where he remained immobile. And where he continued
to remain immobile as the evening progressed and others left
the bar, started up their cars, and drove away.
Finally, with the parking lot all but empty, the patron pulled
himself to an upright position, started the car, and attempted
to pull out of the lot.
Immediately the officer pounced, pulled the motorist from the
car, and administered an on-the-spot Breathalyzer test. The
result: 0.0% blood alcohol content. "How can this be", the cop
asked asked the motorist. "Simple," the driver said. "Tonight
I'm the designated decoy."